Don't Go in the Woods

"**_One cheesy song after another at a campfire in the Northeast, plus some kills_** A band camps out in Woodstock, New York, to get away and inspire creativity. They hope to write songs that will take their music to the next level and career success. Meanwhile several females follow them to their retreat. Unfortunately, a merciless killer is loose in the woods. Who will make it out alive? "Don’t Go in the Woods” (2010) is not a remake of the lousy low-budget slasher of the same name from 1981, but the plot is similar since both flicks involve youths camping out in the wild being picked off one-by-one by a mysterious slayer. The difference is that this is a musical and so half the runtime is spent on the characters performing myriad ditties, usually with an electric bass that would have no sound in real life. Why the bassist didn’t just bring an acoustic bass to the retreat is a mystery. While this only cost $100,000, it’s far better made than the 1981 movie. Yet it has the same basic problem: An uncompelling story with characters who aren’t fleshed out enough and therefore they’re not interesting. In short, so much time is spent on the acoustic folk songs that it detracts from the story & the principals. It doesn’t help that the tunes aren’t very good, but maybe that’s just me. (Sure, Elvis got away with it, but he’s the “king of rock ‘n’ roll”). Regrettably, some of the staples of the genre are curiously ignored. For instance, there are several attractive women and yet very little is done with them to make their presence matter (not talkin’ ’bout nudity or sleaze). How about learning how to shoot females (no pun intended)? Yet the forest cinematography is good, the cast is fine and the kills are effective, if that’s your thang (I couldn’t care less). The revelation at the ending is also quite good. It’s a shame that writer/director Vincent D’Onofrio failed to include a compelling STORY. The film runs 1 hour, 23 minutes, and was shot on D’Onofrio’s property in Woodstock. GRADE: C-"