Fortunes of War

"Well there are no budget films, then low budget films and in between we see this fine example of "'Allo 'Allo" budget films. This one even has it's own version of "Michelle from ze resistonce" as it reminded me of that equally poor British wartime film "Wolves of War" - also made this year. Anyway, not that it matters but the plot involves a troop of commandos who find themselves stranded in France after a botched raid. Initially under the command of the pretty useless "Lt. Quayle" (Mark Kitto) they proceed to lurch from frying pan to fire aided by some woeful dialogue, basic special effects and an ensemble performance that does nothing for the CVs of James Oliver Wheatley, Sophie Craig or auteur Bill Thomas who has created what is frankly a waste of file space. It has a video game feel to the it this - the episodic nature of the story evolves in waves, resets in a different location - farmhouse, barn, roadside - then we start again with more expletives and profundities from the embattled squad. Just why this was made is anyone's guess, but as to reasons for watching it - well that's much easier to answer. There are zéro."